Say That Again

My boss was telling a story about what she's planning on doing this weekend for the Memorial Day holiday with her kids.  The admin somehow starts talking about when she took her daughter to Sea World.  Then she kept saying "Sha-moo" wouldn't come out of her tank.  Umm WTH is a "Sha-Moo"?  I believe the whale's name was Shamu and it was pronounced "Sham-moo".  Maybe the millions of other people in the world, including myself, have been pronouncing the whale's name wrong for all of these years.

I swear she purposely mispronounces words just to irritate me.  Every night when she leaves she says "See you Man-yada."  Umm I'm assuming she means "manana" as in later in Spanish.

Everytime she says something crazy I'm going to continue to say "Say What?"  Maybe eventually she'll get the hint and start pronouncing words correctly.  She's such a character.

The Honeymoon's Over

One of my co-workers is gone on his honeymoon and on the office calendar it says he's out May 15-28. The admin comes into my office and says "That just doesn't make any sense, why would he come back the day before a major holiday?"  So I politely corrected her and told her I believed the 28th is the last day he's off, not when he returns to the office.  She was like "Ohhh, duh that makes sense now."  Guess she was just having a blond moment, although her hair is white, same thing right?

Blue Balls

The admin usually goes to the vending machine to pick up an afternoon snack.  Today she decides to get some peanut M&Ms, pretty normal right.  All of a sudden I hear her laugh and then she comes into my office to show me this deformed M&M.  I said, interesting a Siamese blue M&M then she starts laughing and says, "You're so innocent, it looks like blue balls to me." I nearly died laughing.  Yes, it was inappropriate on all levels but it was hilarious. 

Of course, I had to take a picture to prove it.  Never a dull moment.

Wedding Day Jitters

One of my coworkers is getting married this weekend.  He and his fiancee are having a small wedding in VA or which he didn't invite any of us.  That's okay we got him a gift anyway.  So the admin starts talking about how nervous he's been acting and sarcastically says "Hey, you only get married once...or so they say." Then she bursts out laughing.  To make it worse, she starts to talk about how everyone she knows has been divorced and remarried at least once.  Way to soothe those wedding day jitters.

China Man

I'm sitting in my office minding my own business, listening to my iPod when the Admin stands in my doorway and starts to talk.  Clearly, I had on my headphones but she insisted on standing in the doorway and talking to me.  Eventually, I put the song I was listening to on pause (By the way, it was Tony Toni Tone's Anniversary).  She began to talk about how she visited her sister over the weekend and her little nephew.  She proceeds to tell me about how cute her nephew was and how he was adopted from China.  Then she started to reenact the encounter including how she taught the kid to make faces.  Next thing I know she said she and her husband kept saying to this little boy, her nephew, "Come here you little Chinaman." 

If her sister, the child's adopted Mother, is anything like the admin that child is going to have some problems. And I sigh.

My Inspiration

The inspiration behind this blog as it is so aptly named comes from the Admin at my job.  Everyday, I tweet about something crazy she's either said or done.  At the urging of my Twitter followers this blog is dedicated to her.  Enjoy!